saying it to0o so00on...

      N the same thing is going to happen again.....must waeva i say comes true-negatively that is for me.... i dunnoe... i mean i typed tt sentence out onto my shoutout..n 1 wk after tt it is really happening again...the same ting..the choices tt i hav to make xcept tt wif difrent ppl now...

                 A- knew him for 1 yr plus... trust him cos i know him inside out... n he knows me inside out...wad more can i ask for... 

 

     

              M- knew him lyl 3 mths ago...gotten into tings wif him...the only tings i noe is tt he is a drugger.. n hopefully he is not nw...  he does hav a temper.. his sister is a supermodel..he loves his bike.. n he willing to pay aniting for me wen he has d money...= golddigger me?? 

                 i dunnoe...seriously... all  ever wanted was for A to accept me for hu i am..i owaes tout he wanted to change me..n tt i cant accept.. he went ' missing' for an entire 2 whole months before looking me up...n tt 2 mths of 'gone missing'.. was his  'decision-making' getaway.   wad do i mean?? hmmm.... he took tt 2 mths to figure tings out between us... was he ready... was he really sure tt he wants me.. was he sure tt i was d one... 

well all tt i can say is tt, it sure takes him a hell lot of tym to tink about it... 1yr to be exact... 1 yr to figure out tt he wants me to be his... n knowing him..i noe he is serious..n he wont play me out...he is nt tt kind... he noes my frens n family...he's cool wif evriting tt i do... n theres just tt sumting special... its called 'progression'..heard bout it?? the feeling is great... seriously... from frens to liking to love... u just hav tt sense of u noe tt sum1 n u can neva ever say tt  u do not noe hu ur boyfriend is... 

normally, gals complained tt their bf's r diffrent before n after they r together- negatively of course...but for A is the opposite... lets just say... we were really at frens level until he decided to come back  to look for me after he had already made up his mind... taxi fare...late nights at the doorstep....late nights call tt i ignore yet he keeps on calling..(i gt 10 miss calls frm him in less than 3 mins.)  but still he does rmain being the guy who goes dutch all the tym... but.. he says it wont be the same nw-fyi: sumtyms....

       M on the other hand...is difrent...a gentleman frm the start.... distance tear us apart... i mean .. im west...he is east... talking about poles apart in distance... we r poles apart in nature...but he is willing to accept me for hu i am...welll eventually after dating me for 2 wks... i cant blame him..he is skinny...n im as evrieone noes on the bigger side of the width- fat...hahah... well it is awkward for him to be wif sum1 lyk me....cos.. he lives wif a model, his ex-gf is hot n pretty according to him... as far as i noe.. hav no idea... one ting... he does love me... n again... isit true love???  i doubt so0o...y...ive neva ever tink tt i want him forever n im scared tt he wud change... i dun even tink i want anione forever...its too early to say it... 

    choices... a wrong decision can cos me my happiness in life... if to dcide based on my family's ideal kind of guy... M is a no-no..well they disapproved of him oredi.... A they hav known him since last yr...  

     ok tis is making me frustrated...if my life was as simple as d advices tt i gave ppl... wudnt it be much more easier... tt is y i owaes say.. i help others in their love life...i comfort others...i help to werk tings out in their relationship...be their listening ear... wif advices...make them happy...but hipocracy does live in me... irony bestowed upon me.. juxtaposition stays wif me... as wadeva i advice to others.. cn neva ever be put into practice for my ownself cos it neva ever werks out..n im too scared to hurt ppl hu luv me... its so0o much easier to hurt sum1 tt u do not noe.. 

         on a happy note...bbq was a blast...i fell twice... in frt of huge grp of i dunnoe might be gd looking guys...hahahaha its too dark i wasnt sure... but it was worth the fal...cos it was Fun..wif a capital F... i mean... wad cn be more fun then havg ur best grrl frens wif u..together wif ur best guy frens... hahah..n to tink tt they r open to us now... is the greatest ting...hahahah.....frog hunting...n tt was d first day tt i touch a frog...n i didnt even noe i was tt brave..hahhha... 

     thx izzah n nad for hearing me out...nad stay strg ok... dun let them fool u... 

izzah sry kcau mase2 ko dgn azizi....hahahahah... 

fyza,syiqah n sammie.. i may not owaes b there for u... but u guys r owaes in my heart... 

    izzah n nad- house bunny

sottb-sottp... u get wad i mean..hahaha....

signing of..

purplemadness in nid of  a new purple love n purple heart wif a pinch of purple bears n flowers to fill her new purple life.... all the changes in my life...still purple rmains in me... forever....

(and ni maknenye part aku dah mrepek)

x0x0...